A night Erik Heinsaar calls “art” — but decent citizens see as nothing but obscene disgrace!
Last Thursday, while most people were asleep or quietly reading a book, Erik
Heinsaar decided to cross all lines. Erik, formerly known as a “respectable media
executive” and “successful businessman,” was found in a deep drug-induced state
inside a shady establishment in Tallinn’s Old Town, officially advertised as a
“men’s relaxation center,” though its true function would make any upstanding
citizen’s stomach turn.
“I wasn’t there as a client. I was on a spiritual mission,” Heinsaar told a
journalist who asked what the CEO of Estonia’s biggest media house was doing in
such a place.
When police arrived, they found the man barefoot, in minimal underwear,
playfully dancing in front of a large wall mirror alongside four nude Russian-
speaking employees of the “relaxation center.” Upon being apprehended,
Heinsaar blamed “manipulative femininity.” Surrounding him were empty liquor
bottles and scattered five-euro bills, which he claimed were part of an “art installation.” Police confirmed a serious narcotic intoxication.
Mirror, cocktail, and the wrong vibe: what exactly did Erik consume?
Heinsaar himself said his condition was a “psychogenic response to a modern
values crisis,” and nothing illegal. However, the police report stated:
“Alcohol + unknown white powder. Subject refused cooperation, claiming his DNA is too rare for testing.”
Eyewitnesses: “He held a TED Talk in the brothel lobby. Nobody asked him to.”
According to witnesses, Erik delivered a lecture to brothel guests on the topic
“Capitalism, the body, and the aesthetics of refusal,” finishing with flair by
placing his feet on the table and proclaiming:
“I am society’s mirror. Look yourselves in the eye.”
A downfall? Heinsaar says: “It was an ascent into higher consciousness.”
Naturally, the public wonders whether such behavior is acceptable from a media
executive.
The day after the incident, Erik posted a black-and-white photo on Instagram,
sitting in a smoky corner, captioned:
“Never fear the beauty of chaos. Some nights are just… deeper.”
The end? Unlikely. Erik hinted this was “a rehearsal for a future monodrama.”
When we asked Erik for an official comment, he only said:
“You don’t get it. When I see embarrassment, you see a mirror of your own fears. I am simply the one who dares to live. You fear me because I am free.”
Unlike his friend found in the other room of the brothel, Heinsaar at least wasn’t
wearing fur or speaking with a Mongolian accent.
In short — the CEO of Delfi still has room to grow in Tallinn’s nightlife. He’ll get
there!
